Duck Dreamin’

I happen to be the foremost expert on Duck Dreamin’, as well as Darkness and monsters in my house.  My kids can vouch for me if you doubt.

For some strange reason, my son, who is now 8, used to dream a lot when he was 3-4 about ducks.  Ducks on ponds, ducks flying, ducks just about everywhere.  He wasn’t particularly worried about them.  They didn’t  make him wake up screaming or anything.  He’d just tell us in the morning about the ducks and what they were up to.

Well, he’s older now and has gotten over that.  He’s been replaced, however, with 3-year and 5-year old daughters with just as much imagination.  Both are afraid of the dark.  The 5-year old is worried about monsters, but the 3-year old is plagued by – surprise surprise – ducks!  Not only that, her ducks aren’t as nice as my son’s were years ago.  No, hers are supposedly trying to get to her.

It’s weird how kids get these ideas.  They aren’t born afraid of the dark, and I’ve made sure we’ve never teased about that, because I didn’t want to get something started.  I’m assuming it’s something kids tell each other – maybe older ones trying to spook the younger ones.

Anyway, I’m the expert, so I had to explain to my girls the rules that dream animals have to operate under.

1) Dream animals absolutely cannot penetrate blankets.  Any body part covered by a blanket is safe.

2) Your face is safe even outside of blankets, because there aren’t any tasty parts on your face.  Dream animals are after better treats, like fingers and toes.

3) Lastly – and this is the most important thing to remember – the worst thing a dream animal can possibly do to you is wake you up.

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